Baggage

2.

She awoke in her cluttered chambers, morning light peaking through the blinds. She coughed and sputtered and saw she had sweated through her sheets again. A silhouette of her form was soaked into her linens. Almost like she had truly plunged into that ocean. She felt as if she had drowned and this was a different life to her. She remembered the form of that baggage line. Empty. Shuttling her onward to something. 

As she regained her senses she felt her one nostril was completely clogged and when she blew it it only made her ears squeak and the motion rubbed her nose more raw. Her entire head felt congested and she coughed again and spit up phlegm. Jane wiped the mucus into a tissue and tossed it onto the floor with the others. With the rest of the clutter and uponpened amazon boxes, clothes strewn about, knitting tools and fabrics and yarn, stuffed animals from her collection, dusty boxes of sewing stuffs and cartographer tools when she was going through that phase. The shelves around her long mirror were chalk full of knick knacks. She bought so many to fill it because it was too empty. She had too little keepsakes to fill it properly. It was the same story with her scrapbook that hadn’t been open in sometime. 

For some reason of all these possessions around her, she only thought of that hanky. The one tucked away in her mothers crates, somewhere in there. With her initials waiting on it. She didn’t know why she thought of that. She didn’t know why she hadn’t tossed it away to begin with? Why she had kept any of those things? But she had, just like she kept the invite on her fridge door, the one she knew she would never answer truthfully to. 

The sight of her refuse in the morning light made her groan and roll over. She pulled up into the dry side of her bed and curled up. Trying to push herself back into that dream. Wanting to feel the ice cold water cool her, wanting to find where the carousel that wasn’t a carousel at all would lead her, wishing, hoping it would lead her somewhere better than here. 

Sleep pounced on her once more, pulling over with a knowing fit. Sometimes wishes are answered. Sometimes winds pull at your sails and you must heed them. Sometimes dreams are more real than life. She found herself not falling but sinking. Slowly sinking, down into that world under the waveless ocean. No crushing depths met her, actually she found she could breathe true. Her hair wrapped around her without knots or split ends. Like she was a mermaid in a child’s tale. She realized it was not water around her. Her feet touched the seagrass that was not seagrass at all, but regular bermuda. She levitated slowly until all her weight was here, standing clearly in an openfield. Her back was to the end of the luggage carousel. Where it vanished and was no more. 

She knew it ended here but could not exactly see where it ended. This was the end, that was all she knew. The luggage roundabout was there in her peripheral and then it was gone on looking, so on and so forth. Jane could stand her a milenia searching for the optical illusion or she could ask the nice elephant woman in front of her. The one who was wearing an airline outfit and looked proper and well put together. She was a regular woman with thick gray and ashy skin that matched her elephant face that was smiling at Jane. She felt warm and safe, not like the cold water Jane had plunged into. Jane even saw in her trunk she had a cute nose ring in one nostril. That was fabulous, she wished she could pull off an alternative look like that. 

“Hello, ma’am, how can I help you?” She asked in the most quaint and bubbly voice. A hint of a giggle riding on every word. 

“I’m looking for my bag.” Jane said quite simply. Rolling the grass nervously under her bare feet. She saw she was wearing that sundress she hardly wore. It was yellow with puffy sleeves that showed her shoulders and had lace like a toily among her arms. 

“You have come to the right place!” She exclaimed and trumpetted a chortle out of her trunk, her large gray ears fluttered back and forth and she pointed to above her. Clear as day the sign above her desk read: Pan-Spirit Airlines Lost Baggage Counter. 

“Oh, I didn’t see that.” She said surprised but happy she had finally found someone to help her. 

“Not many people do, but they arrive all the same. Isn’t that funny?” She giggled again and righted her thin stewardess hat on her head, it was the same dark blue as her suit. “Now let me see, lost bag you say? How many are you missing?” She asked. 

“Umm, I was planning on taking two, a checked bag, my brown suitcase that’s a softshell. Then I had a day backpack. I didn't check that…” She looked over herself and sadly only found herself, nothing else. “I don’t have that either. But I wouldn’t check that bag, would I?”

“Well you have been quite sick. You’ve been delirious lately, maybe you would have?” She pointed out. “People do strange things when they are unwell.” 

“Yeah, you're right. Who knows.” She shrugged.

“I’ll find out. What’s your name?” 

“Jane Zabel.” 

The elephant woman who’s name was Pixy, Jane could tell from the name tag, typed into her astral computer and read from a screen Jane could not see. She hmmed and hawed for a moment and scrunched up her lips on her petite tusks. “I see the problem. You didn't check any bags.” She said. simply 

“What? That can’t be right.” She shook her head confused.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Zabel, the computer never lies. It said you came aboard late and had no bags. Here, look at this.” She flipped the computer screen around and all of sudden Jane was looking at herself, ragged and wearing her pajamas entering the airport. She was in her slippers still and carried nothing with her. All of sudden Jane remembered that it was true. She had run to the airport bagless, hopping aboard her flight right before take off.

“Oh no.” She said a wave of embarrassment rushed over her. “I’m so sorry I wasted your time. I’m such an idiot. I.. I… I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.” She went to turn away while holding back tears. She felt so angry with herself, so small and foolish. She knew this was a bad idea. She already messed everything up. She hadn’t even got to the wedding yet. 

“Mrs. Zabel.” Pixy called out as she went to turn away. “It’s no problem, we can still help you.” She said in such a soft tone that Jane knew she wasn’t lying. When Jane turned back she saw the sign had changed. Had it? Maybe it always had said that? It read: Pan-Spirit Airlines Bag Retrieval 

“We can pack a bag for you,” She motioned to the sign and fluttered her big floppy ears again. “Lots of people forget to bring bags, we can provide you with everything you want.”

“What do you mean?” She questioned. “I didn’t even pack anything. I don’t know what you’ll retrieve?”

“Well for a small price we can pack your bag for you and bring it right away. It would be all your belongings of course.” She was already getting the paperwork out. 

“My belongings? How do you mean?”

She flipped the computer around and Jane saw her empty house before her, it was still a mess and cluttered but Jane was not there. Jane was here, this was a picture of her house as it stood when she left. Dang, she left the bathroom light on. 

Pixy explained to her that they could pop back into her home, and grab anything she wanted or needed. They could even grab any past items she had owned. It was all quite simple when explained like that. “... we only need twenty five seashells.” She finished. 

“Seashells?” Jane asked. 

“Like the ones around your neck.” She nodded. 

Jane looked down and saw she was wearing a puka shell necklace. Of course she was, it was her beach attire afterall. “Oh, here you go.” She unclipped it and handed it over. 

Pixy counted out the shells and it was perfectly twenty five. “Perfect!” She exclaimed and sucked the shells up her trunk. “Now what shall we start with?”

“Okay. Okay.” Jane said, racking her brain and signing the paperwork. She had read it of course, it was all very above board and made sense. She could take anything she wanted anytime in her life. “Let’s start with that day bag, the carry-on.” She said aloud.

“Great idea.” Pixy replied and waited to type in her queries into the computer. 

“The bag, of course, is in my closet and has a macrame owl on it. I need two shorts, extra underwear, two sport bras, I like the blue one, it fits best. Two tees. We are gonna be on the beach so let's do the tank top and one regular shirt. Swim suit too, I just have the one, hopefully it fits better now.” As she explained these things she shared their images with Pixy. She saw the exact shirts she wanted start filling up the bag. Her clothes started padding it out, her sandals went into the bottom, a small towel for the beach scrunched in on top. The SPF fifty sunblock plopped in on top too. By the end and when it was getting full it had everything she needed for a day or two of exploring. She brought her toiletries in this bag as well. Even seeing if her expensive electric toothbrush and charger could fit. It did. 

Pixy laughed at the question. “I’m packing it silly, it will fit fine. Don’t forget your passport!”

A wave of relaxation rushed over her. “Oh of course, I didn’t even bring that!” She saw it flutter into her bag and the bag zip up full. “Okay good. Let’s be done with that then.” She sighed and knew if that was the only bag she received she would be fine. It had everything for a couple of days, plus she was already wearing her sundress. She had wanted to wear it to the wedding anyways, this was better than expected. She didn't need to beat herself up too hard.  

“For your check bag?” Pixy asked, fingers flexed and ready to type into the computer exactly what Jane wanted. “Now for this one because we are dealing with wormholes here, we can fit anything of any size, also from any time, as long as it was your possession. But we do have a weight limit. It’s three tons.”

Jane was taken aback. “Wow, really this technology is amazing. How come I haven’t heard about this before?”

She shrugged. “Because this is a dream.”

“Oh that’s right. Okay, let me think.” Out of her mind spilled forth endless possibilities and combinations of things she wanted, needed, and at one point had. It was limitless, like shelves of a great library stretching through her mind. She walked through the aisles and thought over her selection. She had access to past goods and favorites that marched out around her, going back as far as when she was born. She smirked and shook her head, those child toys were only of sentimental value and had little use. Everything she ever owned was at her fingertips, she could make this trip... This beautiful, fabulous vacation is the most perfect and comfortable one she ever had. Not that she had many before. 

She plucked through her other clothes and got a good bundle. She knew she needed more shoes so she brought an exoribaoriant selection. Half she had never worn before. They were ones that she had bought on a whim and wanted to be like the person to wear them. She however wasn’t, so she stuck to her flat heeled sandals and new balance shoes most of the time, the ones with the best arch support. However, Pixy had her feeling brave and excited. She brought the ankle high boots and the ballet slipper with the black string binds on top. She brought many of her dresses that were bold and similarly never worn. Her sweatpants and leggings in case she wanted to do yoga, actually she better bring her yoga mat too just in case. She knew the resort does that on the beach on sundays. 

She decided to bring her make-up bags, full of different foundations, gloss, eyeliner that Jane brought from instagram influencers who raved about it and had provided a discount coupon. More lotion and sunblock so she wouldn’t burn and look like a strawberry by the end of the trip. She saw her foldable umbrella by the door and took it as well, for the sun not the rain, but that would be good use too. Everything was swallowed and organized, folded and pressed into her brown colored suitcase. Then she looked out her window and saw her actual pool umbrella. The one with a big stand and ten feet diameter shadow. 

“No limit to the size?” She asked again and Pixy nodded, cracking her stumpy fingers. 

She threw that in and figured she could drag it down to the beach. She wanted her lounge chair too, so she didn’t have to deal with the hotel lounge chairs that might catch her hair or crush her finger because she couldn’t figure out how to lean it back. She went to her laptop and decided she needed that, to get some work done. That came with chargers and electronics in general. She liked her desktop keyboard so decided to squeeze that in there. But that needed the monitor and computer too. She piled that in and decided, why not take the desk and her chair as well? She wanted to be comfortable. That way she could finish her work quickly. With all that tech she needed cables and extensions. She took all of it, wrapping it up neatly. 

She didn’t know what plug they used in Puerto Rico so she brought an universal plug. She hadn’t had one but her father, when he was around, was a pilot. She flipped back to her pre-teen years and took one for her bag. As she was there she raided her mom's liquor cabinet and took a couple bottles for celebration. Her mom wouldn't notice, she only drank the cheap stuff anyways. The sneaking action reminded her of highschool days when Danielle talked her into going to parties with her. They two girls thought they would impress boys by sharing jagermeister but only scared them away when Jane vomited from the taste as soon as it hit her lips.  

She took more work stuff, her fancy Montblanc pens, and her good stationery. Her work books with the leather binding even though she mostly worked on google docs and excel spreadsheets. She brought her texas instrument calculator. A couple of books that she might need for her reports and even plucked out those romance novels she might get a chance to read while relaxing in her nice lounge chair under her nice pool umbrella. She brought her orthopedic pillow as well, the one as big as her torso but also seemed to make her neck worse. 

She thought about the worries she had. “I should bring my filter too.”

“Car filter?” Pixy asked.

“No.” She laughed. “Wait. What about my car? Can I fit that in there? It would save me money for taxis... I would rather drive myself, I don’t know if I trust getting into a stranger's car. You know what I mean?”

“Sure!” She replied. “Do you want your one now or one of the others?”

“Hmmm.” She thought about the car she had every other year since she could afford it. They all had their pros and cons, a reason why she switched it up. Each one was her trying to be a different person, to feel hip, bold and cool. Jane at one time or another had leased most of the cars she saw drive by when she was a kid. She always loved cars, imagining herself in them, however, once behind the wheel they all felt wrong. After the initial excitement faded. She felt a liar behind the wheel of the 2006 pontiac or the new model fourrunner, or the convertible she bought, god was that a mistake.

“The one now is fine. I like my Subaru, it has seat warmers.”

“Want it before the door gets dinged at the in-n-out parking lot?” Pixy asked. With those words it was like she was back there. Knowing the exact moment she asked about. Jane liked that place because they asked her if she wanted to eat in her car. Yes, of course she did. She didn’t want to eat alone inside, exuding sadness. Although this particular time she should have. She remembered how the car rocked as the door slammed into her own. Jane hadn’t even confronted the smarmy teens who laughed and cursed when seeing her frowning with her double double cheeseburger. 

“Yes, please.” She replied. 

“Done, it’s in there.” Pixy said. “But remember, three tons.”

“Okay okay okay. My water filter!” She realized that’s what she had talked about before she got distracted. “My britta please, it’s really nice, it takes out the lead.” 

“Okay… But there's no lead in the pipes there. Anyways, you could always drink bottled.”

“Yeah, you’re right…” She sighed trying to calm herself. “You know I would just feel better if I had it around. I’m gonna put all my water through it. To be safe.”

“Okay done.” It popped into the bag with all her other goods including her car. A headlight was poking out of it and Pixy grunted and scooted it under the zipper.

Next she thought about what she wanted to eat and raided her pantry. She didn’t know how well the food would sit in her stomach so she decided she should bring her own, just in case. She had nice freeze dried stuff for when she wanted a healthy snack, unfortunately they mostly sat unopened. She took those and some good produce fresh from the farmers market. Before she let it waste away in her fridge in real life. She took her sealing mixing bowls with the lids and fancy foldable tupperware that all fit into each other. She wouldn’t just eat at the drive-thrus anymore. She even went as far to bring her blenders and other kitchen gadgets. She thought back to when she was really going to be on top of meal prepping and brought the magic bullet, the egg peeler, the juicer, air fryer. Everything she needed but now sat in the back of cabinets. This would be a good time to focus on herself. She could run through so many recipes and took cook books too, getting excited about learning more. 

She had to take her nice Japanese knives. She just had to. The ones bought at costco after seeing them cut through a thick copper cable. She used them instead to mostly cut brownies in half. She didn't want to eat the whole brownie, that would be too many calories. However, she would often go back an hour later to eat the second half. Not often actually… As she saw her knives in-use over the years. She would always eat the second half before the night was over. That inspired her to take more than the yoga mat. She brought her weights and workout bands and more workout clothes and even that stationary bike. 

If she was going to be sweating she needed to bring her nice body lotion and bath goods. Her six shampoos that seemed to all counteract each other. Then she thought about her clothes, what if all of them get wet or she spills something on herself? What if a smoothie gets over all of her clothes en route? She threw some extra outfits in and decided to bring her nice laundry detergent. The one that didn’t give her a rash. She remembered when she had tried to change to an off brand kind. Thinking it was too expensive. After the change she had got what felt like a heat rash everywhere her blouse touched her. Although allergy testing said she wasn't allergic to anything of much really, she thought maybe it was just brought on by the stress of trying a new detergent. 

“Maybe I need to bring my washer and dryer?” She asked Pixy, thinking out loud after seeing her kitchen and workout goods trickle in and align themselves in the folds and pockets of the bag. 

“Cutting it close…” She noted.

“Let’s try it, would they run?” She asked.

“You already have the plug converter, I don’t see why not.”

“I just want to be comfortable. It’s a comfort knowing I can wash all my clothes the same way, you know?” She was almost pleading with the elephant woman, trying to convince herself that she wasn’t overdoing it. Pixy wouldn’t judge her though, she was professional. 

“I understand completely ma’am.”

Jane decided on the last bit of stuff to bring. She brought a small sewing kit incase of tears, then that went and turned into her bringing her sewing entire basket and the Singer sewing machine that sat under its cover in her extra room full of her other abandoned hobbies. She held herself back and didn’t bring the kayak, nor the dance shoes. She would be in public and didn’t want to embarrass herself. 

She did bring a couple stuffed animals from her childhood to make herself comfortable. She walked through the aisles of knick knacks that had been lost or broken or plain thrown away because she was embarrassed. She picked up her scrapbook and wiped it clean, tossing it in there, ready to make more memories. She brought her collection of beanie babies. Her collection of stamps that she had spilled wine on, but it was before they had been ruined. Her rolls of copied blueprints of famous tourist traps like the Arch de Triomph, this was when she wanted to be an architect, before she wanted to be a cartographer as a teenager. She took her diaries, the ones that were full and thrown away on a re-read, the one ruined by her mother in a violent binge. Jane thought it would be fun to revisit it. She wanted to get to know her younger self on this trip. Reconvene with herself. 

She packed in her bedding to make sure she was comfortable. She had certain pillows in a certain pattern to maximize her sleep. She couldn't go without that. She brought her electronic sunrise alarm that slowly woke her up. It was only two payments and a small yearly fee to get the most natural sounding sounds. Her dream journal and her sleep schedule watch. Her fans. Her fans! How could she sleep soundly without her Dyson fan on her? She had to bring that and Pixy agreed it was vital. That made Jane laugh. 

“How about all those boxes? Anything from those?” Pixy asked. 

“Hmm,” She sighed. “I should go through them…” She groaned and leaned back. “Okay fine if there’s room let's bring all those boxes. Oh and let's jam in some extras.” Her brain picked some other old dolls from her childhood and her favorite stuffed animal that was so flat and worn it practically fell apart. She went through her best memories, keeping keepsakes from her and Danielle that ended up thrown away in college years. She went through poems from her first boyfriend who left her for a bleached blonde sorority girl. All these pieces of memories, pieces of times where she felt whole and happy didn’t quite fit into the completed puzzle she hoped they would. She was trying to build her home away from home. Her place of reflection, peace, sacred ground that was safe and hers.

She couldn’t quite make it so. The things she had accumulated told her she had made a life, sure. But something was missing. Was it Jacob? Was it more pictures of friends she didn’t have? More weighted blankets and Sudafed? She still felt uneasy. The stress of unpacking it all worried her. What would Danielle say about all this crammed into a hotel room? What would she say if she worked or read, organized her mom's old stuff when she should be enjoying herself? She knew she would roll her eyes and sigh and ask about Jacob. However Jane reasoned that she didn’t need to unpack everything at once. She could leave her cooking stuff if she didn’t need to cook. She could use her umbrella if the hotel had piss poor ones. She would only pull out her stationary bike if the gym was terrible or they didn’t have a good drying rack. Danielle would understand. This is what it takes for Jane to be comfortable. She was coming after all. That would be enough. Wouldn’t it? Or would she be judged again and again by her whole extended family? 

An extreme sense of dredd whipped up inside her. She was starting to hyperventilate thinking about the trip. She had stumbled this close to the finish line. Maybe she should just head home instead? Everything she could possibly need was there. Nothing bad would happen there. Away, her home could be burglarized, or a gas leak could burn it down. That’s exactly what would happen to her. It would be just her luck, after working so damn hard for everything. Everything. 

Danielle wouldn’t want her to feel this way. She was already scratching her arms so hard red lines were popping up on her ivory skin. What if her viking show was spoiled for her? What if they didn’t even have cable channels? What was she going to do without her hundred inch smart TV? How would she relax without her aerated wine and nintendo switch playing little games and forgetting about the big world outside? 

She realized she was hunching over, about to collapse and curl up into a little ball. Pixy eyed her up and down with one raised eyebrow. “Is everything alright?”

“I.. I.. I… I don’t know if I can even bring all this.”

“You have room for a little more in this bag.”

“It’s not enough!” She said and felt physically sick standing in this glade under twinkling rainbows. She smacked her forehead as she often does when overwhelmed. That helped shake her up and ground herself. Feel pain true and clear. Knock loose those strangling motorways of her brain. She curled her toes in the grass. “I know. I know. I know. You can do this Jane.” She said to herself. “You can do this… I know what I need.” She took a deep breath, standing a little taller and looking at Pixy in the eyes. “I want to bring my lawn mower.” 

“Your what?” She asked, flummoxed.  

“The yamaha 175cc Ryobi mower. I need it, just in case there’s any weeds I need to handle. I want to be of help. This way I can help, but also not to be bothered. You know? Does that make sense? Behind that mower I feel real confident. Like I can kill any problems in front of me.” She said the word kill with an unexpected ferocity. “My therapist says it’s my happy activity.” She finished.

“I mean it’s going to fill it up is all… I mean… A lawnmower on vacation?”

“Is that too much?” She asked, already feeling the panic press back in. She needed the lawn mower. She just had to have it. Or was she being foolish? God, she was the worst at packing, at traveling, at doing anything really. 

“It’s up to you.” Pixy said, trying to reassure her. She pulled back her judgment like her ears that pinned back beside her head. 

Jane groaned and shook her own head feeling rather dumb. “No mower, that's silly, you’re right.”

Pixy smiled.“You know what… Would you like to just bring your entire home?”

“What do you mean?” Jane asked. 

“We can pack up rooms for you, your entire place if you want. I’m gonna upgrade you for free to a bigger bag. Let’s see if that will work out. It goes up to five tons.” She started to type into her computer again. Jane saw an even larger bag than she had rolled out onto the luggage belt. It was as big as herself and had wheels, handles, and backpack shoulder straps. It had the word ‘supersized’ stamped onto the sides of it in red highlighter. 

“What happens if I go over the weight limit?” She asked, staring at the behemoth of the bag and seeing her things flutter out of her own bag and organize into it. She smiled as she saw her beaded bracelet with BFFs built into it from when she was kid. She thought she had lost that in her parents divorce. 

“Let me see,” Pyxi noted. “1800 square feet, one second.” She bit her lip playing with her tusk and tutted. “Oooh, looks like you’re right. Your place is just over the weight limit. We can still do it but it would be an extra weight fee.”

“How much?” 

“Forty.”

“Dang, okay maybe we just bring my entire home office. That's the best room in the house, all my work stuffs are in there just the way I like it. I won’t have to reorganize them.”

“Yep that’s good we are still under the premium weight limit. That’s all files and computers, correct?” 

“Yeah everything, just in case I need to do some emergency work.”

“Or play solitaire, am I right?”

“The library too, with the exercise bike in it. The shelves are set up just the way a real library would have them. I'm working on a similar tangle as this old asset procurement at Mayflower. So the file cabinet is a must. And the window is off the street so the natural lighting is great. And no one can see me and my attempt at yoga. Would the sun be in the same place or because I am in a different country…”

“Yep, we’ll keep the sun in the same place. It’s your exact room.”

“How does that work? Am I like being transported..? Or is it..? Is it like a different dimension?” 

Pixy the elephant woman stared at her with a certain perplexity one has when looking at an absolute fool. “What are you talking about? We are bringing your room. That’s all.” She pointed up to her sign, Pan-Spirit Airlines Room Retrieval. Behind her Jane’s library/gym room, sun outside and all, shrunk down and fit into the corner of her new bag. 

“Okay now what about my bedroom with the bathroom? I’m a nervous pooper, that would actually really help me.” She was starting to feel better, then realized what she said and blushed. “Oh my god, I don’t know why I'm being so open with you.” She laughed.
Pixy giggled as well, no care in the world. “Bathroom and bedroom. Yeah that’s gonna put us over, just barely. You sure you don’t want to do just the entire house?”

“It’s only forty dollars right?” Jane bit her lip thinking. 

“Forty pounds actually, UK.” Pixy corrected. 

“Oh interesting.” She planted her hands on her hip and tapped her foot. “Well you know what, I'll be saving money if I just bring everything with me! Heck, I can cancel my hotel room.”

“Smart thinking, okay the whole house is packed up and in there.”

“Is plumbing included, will I have my running water and lights and stuff?”

“Of course, what kind of airline would we be if we didn't pack the plumbing up too? You can use it just like you use it now.”

“Yard too? Front and back?”

“Yep, even that swimming pool you never use.” 

“That means…”

“Oh hun, you read my mind. You can bring the lawn mower!” She giggled again and finished up typing the manifest of the bag.

“Awesome, oh good, thank the lord,” Jane sighed with relief. “I was worried the yard would be a mess by the time I got back. Okay, perfect. And that’s all in there and only forty pounds?” 

“Correct!” 

“Amazing, I love this service. You know, this is really the best way to travel. I would travel much more if I knew about you guys earlier. You should advertise all over.”

“Thank you, that’s a great compliment, our services make sure it doesn't even feel like you are traveling at all! That’s what we strive for. Now…” She leaned in and grew serious, like a perfect salesman would. Jane felt the rush of a secret promotion coming. “Would you like to bring a time?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A time?” She whispered looking around and confirming no one was around. “You can do that?” 

“Sure, we can pack it up for you just like the rooms. Bring it along.” She winked. 

“A time, like anytime?”

“Any time pertaining to you, any time you have lived yourself, yes.”

“Does it cost extra too?”

“No. it’s actually quite weightless. We like to offer it as a complimentary service, might I suggest if you are going to your cousin's wedding you pack some fond memories of you two together. You could spend hours together being back in it. Relishing it, reflecting on it. It’s quite a gift. A good way to bring happiness with you.”

“How long can I bring?”

“As long or as short as you’d like, minutes to weeks, months, years. But that might drag on a bit. Year can be rather monotonous, I mean think of all the bathroom breaks.” She pointed out and Jane understood. 

“So can I bring, let’s see… Us as kids talking and playing under the jungle gym?”

“Yeah you had a lot of different conversations, which one would you like?” She scrolled through a mass of moments of the two of them. They laughed and played and talked of their futures, nonsense too, imagined make-believe worlds that only children can see. 

“Not as cute as I remembered. We kind of sounded like maniacs.” Jane noted but still smiled and wanted to reach out and touch it. 

“But you both seemed very happy.” Pixy said, smiling along with her. 

“Yeah we were.” She sighed, looking at the summer day and sunny notes where everyday was bright and new. Where it felt as if problems never lingered and hurt always healed without a rough hewn scar.

“Maybe just a couple hours of you playing together, or well... It doesn't have to be good memories, it could be ones where you yelled at each other, maybe you’d laugh about it now!” She giggled with the suggestion. “Or ones where you comforted each other. When you two were there for each other, I always think those moments are rather sweet.” Pixy twisted an invisible dial behind her desk and a flood of memories jumped through in front of Jane’s eyes. She was overwhelmed at the aging face she saw, the pimples and awkward length of her as she became a teenager. Problems, unresolved, started popping up and hit her with a weight she would rather not feel. She felt invaded as this woman showed her her past, bluntly. She slowed to Jane crying in Danielle’s arms. Textbooks littered among the room, a chair tipped over and a planted pot spilled on the blue tacky carpet.

“I hate her.” Jane said, her hair wrapped in between her fingers so tight her fingers were red and swelling. “I hate her so much. Every time I think she's serious about getting better… Every time… The way she pleads and begs me to come back…” She sobbed and Daneille patted her back. “Everytime she promises. She always, ALWAYS promises. I wish she would just leave my life alone. Leave me alone! I hate her. God, I hate her so much!”

“I know,” Danielle replied. “She’s a mess. I’m sorry. We are here for you. You know you can stay as long as you want.”

“I’m not going back. This time I'm serious.” Then she shuddered mid-sentence and broke down again. “God, I hate her…” She hollered into a pillow and wetted it with tears and spit. Jane groaned, defeated and told the full truth. “I still love her too. How can I not? She’s my mom, you know?” She collapsed on her cousin and cried more.

Through all this Daniielle never shied away. She hugged her and understood. Telling her how  she would always be here for her. Whatever she felt was right she would stand by Jane no matter what. She would never pressure her into doing anything. “Just take it a day at a time.” She said. “A day at a time and it’ll be alright… You know what’s best for yourself. You know.” She said as she held her hand, her bracelet falling atop her own. 

Jane took a step back and shook her head. Pixy saw her taken aback and paused the moment. “No?” She asked.

“No.” Jane replied sniffing, crossing her arms in front of her and clinging to her forearms. “Maybe just the moment of us as kids running around being silly.” She cleared her throat. “Can I take some time for myself?”

“Right now?” Pixy asked, knowing she needed a break from all this. 

“No, I'm fine.” She replied. “Can I pack some time for myself?” She asked again.

“What are you thinking?”

“Maybe some extra days… Say, President's day, the three day weekend this year? I did nothing during those days. Just crosswords and Netflix. Can I bring that?”  

“Of course, you’d like to see that again?” She said curiously.

“Well if I packed it with me I would have three extra days for myself right? Maybe I could spend it getting some work done. Catching up on what I’m behind in. It was a waste of days anyways, I want to change it.”

Pixy smiled and understood nodding. “Very smart idea.” She replied. “Yeah I don’t see that being a problem, just jump into that time and do your work.”

“It wouldn’t wipe away my whole weekend would it?” 

“Not if you didn't want it too! You’d step into them like they are a door, like your home you packed, a place where things pause and you can spend it exploring or reminiscing. Or in your case…”

“Working.” She said firmly. That would make her feel better about everything.

“That too. Then you can step out and resume your festivities!” She noted, trying to cheer up Jane. She was still quiet, tired already and she hadn't even stepped foot out of this strange airport. She sighed. Thinking about the work ahead of her. 

“Okay now how about any time in the future?” Pixy asked, snapping her back to reality. 

“What?” Jane asked, blinking away the dragonflies. “A future time? Now that costs extra. It must?” 

Pixy smiled again seeing how intrigued she was once more. “No ma'am it is a basic service, always nice to pack some future time to explore.”

“What does that look like?” She asked, taking a step forward. 

“Well the same thing of course, it’s just as weighty as the past but it just hasn’t happened yet.”

“Time isn’t that heavy?” 

“That’s correct, only when it’s gone does it weigh anything at all.” She noted with a high pitch giggle.

“It’s not gone?” Jane asked. It was a silly question. She had just seen how real time gone by was. It was etched like a stencil on your being. As real as steel binds. She hoped better days were ahead of her. Knowing they had to be. 

“No it’s not gone silly! Not if we can still pack it up. It’s only gone when you are. You aren’t gone are you?” Pixy asked.

She looked around. “I don’t think so.”

“There you go!” She started typing in the future days into her computer. 

“My future huh? What will that look like?” She started to be curious but also scared. Did she want to see it?

“Well let me tell you. Hmm.” Pixy turned through them and Jane saw herself in a slim formal white dress. “Yeah maybe you could share some memories of you and Jacob’s wedding?” Pixy continued. “That might be nice to show your cousin. Let her know you are gonna join her one day. She’s your maid of honor, how sweet!”

“Wait, I'm gonna marry Jacob?” Jane said with a furrowed brow. Grabbing at her hair nervously. 

“Well certainly so, you're dating him now, what else are you gonna do?” 

“I don’t know. I just… Wow. I wasn’t sure he was the one. Are you sure that is right?” She asked while trying to see around the desk at what Pixy entered into her computer. It was obscured to her as Pixy tilted the desktop that wasn’t really there away from Jane. She tsked at the rudeness of the woman before her. 

“Yes of course it is, I assure you I'm reading it right. It’s just a vector reader. It picks up time like a claw machine picks up gifts.”

“But I don’t have any other possible futures, I don’t have any other men I marry? Any other type of life?” 

“I don’t understand?” Pixy said, waiting for Jane to explain. 

Jane sighed. “Isn’t there like a litany of futures for me? Based on the decisions I've made, I will make… I don’t know! Like is there one future where I don’t get married at all?”

“I don’t think you understand.” Pixy reiterated. “This goes off the actual world. We correlate and collect your choices that you have made, the future that you have before you. The one you are cultivating at this very moment. And at this moment I see you and Jacob getting married, having children. Three to be precise!” She made an aww sound. “Isn’t that lovely. You are all happy in the home we have packed up for you. And yeah…” She paused scrolling through all the future moments of her life. Jane saw flashes of her age and grow old before Pixy scrolled back. “That’s mainly it, it looks like.”

“Three children!” She exclaimed, starting to pull her hair harder and strands broke free. 

“Three lovely, beautiful children, Jacob wants more but you never budge.” Pixy pointed out and winked at her. 

“And I'm happy in this future?” She asked.

“Well I can’t pack up your exact feelings about it. But let me check. Hmm. I mean you two don’t argue too much, you seem fond of each other, he’s sweet, there are little tiff’s about his lifestyle, for example him not doing enough of the chores… He has trouble with his business ventures too. Not great with money. He’s a great dad though. Really pours himself into that. Your family loves going to Disneyland every year.” 

“Stop. Please. I’m overwhelmed. I marry Jacob, we have three kids. And we are happy?”

“Seemingly.”

“Disneyland?”

“Yearly.”

“My job?” 

“Yes, let me see. You make great money until retirement. I see a lovely big cake for you in the office, fun hats. You retire and travel to Florida. With Jacob of course. You move there fully when… Oh sorry, the kids are just barely adults when he passes. Heart attack, sedentary lifestyle, you know how that goes…”

Jane was stunned as this fell against her like waves in the ocean. She was bludgeoned with the images of her as an old maid. Her kids loved her but still she was alone… In Florida of all places. She hated the beach. 

“You take it well.” Pixy continued. “Of course you are sad. I don't see anything too crazy. You… Umm, oh how nice, you come out of retirement and start your own practice. Work as a private CPA. for another eleven years it looks like. The work keeps you busy and you become a grandmother and…”

“Stop. Please. I don't want to know anymore.” She placed a hand against the desk. Feeling like she was about to faint. 

“Of course,” She shunted the time away. “You don’t have to pack anything from a future time if you don’t want to…” Pixy righted her uniform. “But if you do, I suggest, maybe yours and Danielle’s kids playing together. That might be nice. She visits the mainland often. They speak Spanish, and you compliment them on how smart they are. You seem so proud of her and her family.”

She held up her hand pleading for her to stop again. “I don’t want to make this trip about anything other than her day…” She breathed in deep, steadying herself. “I… Jacob really? Three kids? I wasn’t expecting that.” She muttered. 

“It is how the future reads.” Pixy shrugged. 

“I never leave my job?” She asked to confirm. 

“You do, you retire, and start your own private accounting practice. I think that’s lovely.”

“But… Pixy, you don’t understand. I don’t like my job now. I don’t like my company now. How can I stay there for the next thirty years? How can I stay the entire time? Do I love Jacob? I don’t know if I even do now? Do I love him then? Do I grow to love him more? Or is it all just a charade?”

She frowned in turn. “Hmm. I’m not an expert on love nor can I see you or his emotions, but you look like you have a fine relationship, a good marriage. You kiss each other on the cheek and all that stuff. You give each other space, but you are intimate as well.” 

“That’s not enough! is it?” She gripped herself and apologized for raising her voice, although she most likely wouldn't even have been shushed if she was in a library. 

Pixy shrugged and said it was okay. She smiled as she took a look at Jane's future for herself. “I do see you almost have a triss with a handsome neighbor but you back out at the last minute. So that must mean you have a pretty strong connection between you and your husband. He was a very handsome neighbor.” She noted. 

“That doesn't mean anything! Oh god I’m a whore too?” She walked in tight little circles trying to find some cold air to breathe.  “I.. I.. I… don't want anything from the future.” She replied. “I don’t want any of that time, I'll see it as I get to it. That’s a lot to think about. I guess I haven’t really thought much about it. But, why wouldn’t that be our future?” She said to herself.  

Pixy understood and was nodding along. “I as well live in the moment, nothing wrong with that, as long as you are happy. We won’t pack that.”

“Happy?” She mulled the word over. “Okay. Ummm, from the past. Can you bring up the moment between Danielle and I. It was… It was after a highschool dance. I forget which one. Her jerk-of-a-boyfriend didn’t drive her home. She walked back, crying the whole time and I helped her like she helped me.”

“Oh yes,” Pixy said as she found it. “Sophomore homecoming. You helped clean her up when she got home, you told her how pretty she was…” The images of Jane helping Danielle wipe away runny mascara played before them both in real time. Like how Danielle helped her those months earlier. It was a sweet and tender moment in their boy band poster-filled room. 

Jane continued the recollection.“... and I said, she was going to meet a man that loves her and sees her for how amazing she really was. Not just her eyeliner, messy or clean. That I promised her I would… I promised I would be there on her wedding day to see it.”

“... to see it.” Pixy finished at the same time, finishing the memory and tearing up as the two girls hugged. She nodded. “How wonderful I have it right here. Lovely. We have that one and the one of you two as kids running around...”

“Get rid of the kids one please, put it back.”

“Okay done.” Pixy replied while backspacing on her keyboard. “So no future, only the moment after homecoming and your Presidents day weekend.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Jane sighed while rubbing her head that was pounding like she had a sinus cold. She got these headaches when her glasses sat on her nose too long. But she wasn’t wearing glasses? She was standing in this grotto worried about a future that wasn’t here. 

They were both quiet and Pixy waited on Jane. She smiled and broke the silence leaning in like a good friend would. “Or do you want me to get rid of the boring weekend too?”

Before she was even done speaking Jane agreed. “Yeah, toss it please. Actually, don’t even put it back if you can. Just throw it away.”

“That’s unfortunately not how it works.” She smiled and laughed politely. 

“Fine whatever. So just that night with Danielle, correct?” She reiterated. 

“Done.” She clicked her keyboard once, in finality. 

“And everything else is in there too, right? My house, everything I have now, plus the other stuff from all over the place?”

“Pretty much everything you could ever want for.” Pyxi said as she poured through her invisible list and nodded that it was all accounted for. 

“Want for…” Jane said to herself while lost in thought. She realized she was ready to get underway and get her home out and relax in it. She wanted to think about some things by herself, maybe change some things. Could she even do that?  

“Yep. Well thank you so much for using our services. It was a pleasure to meet you! Credit?” Pyxi asked. 

“Of course.” Jane handed over her mastercard.

The burlap bag rolled out and Jane unzipped it. Checking it was all there. She saw a sack full of everything she could ever need, or had, or at one time wanted and it was all wrapped in a shawl of a tear-filled memory. It was name brand goods, expensive treats for herself. A smorgasbord of worldly desires she had accumulated in her short lifetime. She planted her feet and hoisted it up on her shoulder. She almost fell over as she threw her body backwards, thinking it would take all her strength. However, it sat quite easily. The bag felt no heavier than her work bag with only a laptop in it. 

Jane turned back to her new friend while bouncing the bag that was as big as her on her shoulder. “I thought it would be heavier? There's a lot in here.” Jane said. 

“Is there?” Pixy asked before getting back to work and calling the next customer up.

The bag fell like a cannonball yanking her back. It unzipped and exploded her home around her. She fell through moments and rooms and sealed boxes until it all assembled itself once more like she hadn’t touched it all.