Epilogue

The park ranger had saddled up to the man who was above the canyon. They were on the edge of the park out here. Around were mostly small donkey trails that criss crossed this land. The ranger had seen the car blow up dust on a side road and knew the man wouldn't get far in that old beaten up thing. When the car had not returned and the sun was going down. He saddled up Hashbrown and wandered off to find him.

The trail led him to his abandoned car. Doors open, muffler dragging. Smoke was still coming off the radiator. And inside was even more of a mess. It was full of scattered clothes, old rotting junk food in greasy wrappers. Half eaten snacks, and dog food that had turned loose and was scattered about.  He also noted the amount of dried blood in here. Around the head rest of the passenger seat. It smelled like stale vomit too. 

He radioed back to the station that he probably had a jumper. He would try and track him to where he had fallen. It was a side canyon so they had some time to clear up this mess. But he might have to camp and continue in the morning. The sun would set soon. The weather was good. He was thankful for that. He took the opportunity to remember how blessed he was to even be allowed to work in this beautiful park. Even today when he had to do ‘dirty work’ like clean up jumpers. It was still one of the most magnificent spots on God's green earth. He supposed he earned it. He did his stints in other places before this. Working the nude beach in New Jersey was not a highlight. Plus he had sacrificed relationships too. All for this place. He had never met another man that would want to be with him on account of him being gone for months at a time. 

Oh well. 

He didn’t need that to be fulfilled. He had helped more people out here than he would raising a family. He was a caretaker. A steward at heart. More in-love with the land than he could be with anyone else. 

He hoped the jumper was at least wearing some bright clothes. And he hoped he didn’t take his dog with him. He could tell one was with him by the tracks. Probably a medium sized lab or cattle dog or something. Poor thing. Some people do that. They take their poodles over the edge. He supposes it's easier for the person in a twisted sense, to have some companionship. 

Finally the footprints went off the road. He followed and eventually as it was getting dark he came to a clearing. A beautiful spot among the horizon and to his surprise there sat a man. 

Alive. Oh. 

He was a bigger fellow. Obviously not a hiker, he had jeans and a cotton t-shirt that was covered in dust. He had tanned skin, maybe hispanic? The ranger saw his arms were scraped up and bleeding. His dog was looking at him. Smaller than he thought. A heeler. He sat there panting slightly and eyeing the newcomer. 

As he settled Hashbrown to a tree he rotated around. Making sure not to put himself with his back to the cliff. He stomped up to him. And now that he was closer he could tell how banged up he was. He had a huge bruise on the side of his face and still had some swelling there, along with a popped vessel in his left eye too. 

“Howdy stranger,” He said, Rubbing his hip where it was sore as it always was when he had to get on a damn horse. 

He lazily turned to the ranger. Eyes slow as molasses peeling away from the sunset. Not that the ranger could blame him. “Oh, hi there.” He said.

There was a pause. The ranger figured he wasn’t really much of a talker. That was fine. He wasn’t either. He sat down fifteen feet away from him. And looked at the view too. You just never could get used to it. 

“What brings you out here?” He finally asked.

The man took a deep breath. Just pointed to the horizon.

“Yep, it’s nice. Did you…? Did you get what you needed out here, son?” He asked.

“I guess I did.” The man was petting his dog who had sat between his legs and was looking up with big bright eyes. Lovingly.

“And what are your plans for this evening?” 

He shrugged. “That’s a good question. I might be staying,” he said. “My car died.”

“I saw that.” He pointed over his shoulder back to the road. Then patted his legs. “Well, did it get you to where you wanted to go?”

He thought for a moment and smiled, nodding.

“Well then we can’t be too mad at it.” He replied. They took a moment to appreciate the view again. The ranger was still trying to do his ranger duties. He was oddly awkward when it came to talking to loners. Talking to folk at all was not his strong suit unless it was about the different sediments.

“Is everything alright? Truly? It doesn't…. Well. We get people who jump from here. It’s a real shame. For everyone. For the hikers below, you know we get families exploring the park. Hate for them to see that. Is that what you were gonna do? Because you don’t have to do that. We can get you help.”

“No.” he replied quickly, but he saw how his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying. “I just feel... Slow.” He wiped his face, “I lost someone, and I've been feeling… not myself since then. Like I'm playing at being…” He didn't finish his thought, just sniffled. “It’s hard to talk to people you know? To connect. You never really know how a person thinks. I don‘t even really know how I think. I’m always in between mania or feeling… diluted.” He laughed and gave the ranger a look. “People, they usually don’t even like me that much. Just think I'm some boring or weird guy.” The man smiled a pained smile and shrugged. “Which I am. The only one who really knew me and loved me through all my shit was my wife but she’s gone now. Worst of all, now, she seems so far away.” He patted the tree he was sitting on then looked back at the ranger. 

“I was seeing her, you know? Talking to her. It might not have been healthy. But it was… nice.” He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. “I just have to keep reminding myself, she’s always gonna be a part of me. A part of my life. That’s what I have to focus on, even when everything else is detached.”

“Hmm,” the ranger said. He stood up and walked closer. Letting his guard down with this man and his dog. He looked over the valley for a moment and turned back. “I can relate in my own way. I’ll tell you what. Just... Everyday you have to look. Some days you have to search. But everyday you have to try and find that thing that makes sense. That makes you make sense. For me it’s this.” He pointed to the canyon. “For your dog, it’s you. I don’t really know your story son, but when you find that thing, hold onto it. That’s what I do with all this craziness around.”

“I make sense too, huh?” He said. Smirking. “I like that.”

“And you were wrong about your car.” The ranger said, extending a hand to the sitting man. The dog came over and smelt his pant leg then started wagging his tail.

“It’s dead as dead. I’m afraid.” The grieving man replied as he took his hand and stood up. He righted himself a little, knocking the dirt off his shirt.

“Well, that may be. But it didn't get you to your destination. Because that’s not here. You got no permit to camp overnight. So you are gonna have to shove off.” He patted him on the shoulder. “That's okay though, I'll take you back and we can figure out where that’s gonna be.”